How Do I Know When My Child Needs to See a Therapist?

When Should My Child See a Therapist?

A compassionate guide for parents who want to get it right—but aren’t sure what the signs really are.

First, let’s begin here:
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to reach out for help.
Therapy isn’t just for emergencies—it’s also for emotional strength-building, learning how to cope, and having a trusted place to be fully seen and heard. Therapy is for asking the question: Do I need a therapist?

Here are some signs that it might be time to seek the guidance of a licensed therapist:


Emotional & Behavioral Red Flags:

  • Big emotional swings that seem out of proportion to the situation

  • Sudden withdrawal from friends, family, or activities they once loved

  • Persistent sadness, irritability, or hopelessness

  • Explosive anger or aggression that seems hard for them to control

  • Excessive worry or fear that doesn’t go away

  • Difficulty sleeping or nightmares that don’t improve

  • Saying things like “I don’t want to be here” or “What’s the point?”


Other Warning Signs:

  • They may have experienced bullying, trauma, or a major life change (divorce, death, move, etc.)

  • Your child may be engaging in self-harm or talking about it

  • They are avoiding school, complaining often of physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches with no medical reason

  • They are asking questions or making statements about suicide

  • Your child is having difficulty problem solving or making decisions

✅ Signs They Might Be Ready for Therapy:

  • Your child might tell you they feel “overwhelmed” or like they “can’t handle it”

  • They’ve asked to talk to someone else besides you

  • They seem tired of being misunderstood

  • You feel like you’ve tried your best—but they’re still struggling

  • Your gut says something’s not right.


How to Say It:

“I love you so much, and I can tell something’s been hard for you lately. I want to help, and I think talking to someone whose whole job is to help kids feel better could be really good for you.”

“It’s not because you’re broken—it’s because you deserve support.”

“We all need help sometimes and I am not afraid to tell you that I don’t have all the answers.”

“We go to the doctor when our bodies don’t feel quite right. We go talk to a therapist when our minds feel that way.”

“I am going to go with you. We will figure it out together.”


✨ Final Reminder:

Therapy is not a sign of failure.
It’s a sign of strength.
It’s like asking for a guide when the trail gets steep. And there’s no shame in that—only wisdom and love. It is better to seek help than to believe you have to struggle alone.


About Deedee Cummings

Deedee Cummings is a professional dreamer. She is also an author, therapist, attorney, and mom from Louisville, Kentucky. Cummings founded Make A Way Media in 2014 after struggling to find books with characters who looked like her own children and an extreme lack of stories that reflected their life experiences. Books published by Make A Way focus on hope, diversity, social justice, and therapeutic skills for children and adults. Her work has been featured in HuffPost, Forbes, NPR, USA Today, Essence Magazine, Psych Central, Well+Good, and The EveryGirl, among other media outlets. In 2021, she was appointed to the Kentucky Early Childhood Advisory Council by Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear, and reappointed to a second term in 2025 acknowledging her decades long service to the children and families of Kentucky. Deedee is also the founder of The Louisville Book Festival. She was inspired to work to highlight and celebrate a culture of reading in her community after working as an in-home therapist and visiting homes of children who had no books. Cummings believes literacy is a fundamental human right. Her work highlights inspiring messages that remind us all it is never too late to begin again.
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