Today I’m writing to you not with lighthearted updates or feel-good news—but with something much heavier, and urgently important.
This week in Louisville, we lost a 12-year-old child named Silas to suicide. He was bullied for years. He was only 12. And he saw no other way out.
As a therapist, a mom, and someone who has devoted her life to hope and healing, this shook me deeply. And it should shake us all.
Here’s a truth we can’t ignore:
Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for children between the ages of 10 and 14 in the United States.
Not car crashes.
Not cancer.
Suicide.
Let that sink in.
Someone on social media commented that they could not believe a sixth grader would do this. The truth is, this is not an anomaly. This is an epidemic.
Our children are hurting. Silently. Relentlessly. And we cannot afford to whisper around this topic anymore.
We must talk about suicide. We must talk about bullying. We must equip our children with the words, the safe spaces, and the belief that their pain is not shameful—and it is not permanent.
Bullies (and depression) thrive most in darkness. How many times have you heard about parents who wanted to go to the school to address bullying and the children begged them not to? Out of fear that it would only make matters worse. Bullies shame children and then make them feel more shame for standing up for themselves. Depressed feelings leave your child without the words they need to alert others to how bad this problem really is for them.
As a therapist, I want to offer a few simple but powerful ways we can begin having these critical conversations:
What You Can Say to Your Child
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“If you are ever hurting so badly that you don’t know what to do, you can tell me. You will never be in trouble for being honest about how you feel.”
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“There is nothing too big or too scary that we can’t face together. You might feel alone, but I need you to hear me when I tell you that you are never alone.”
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“If someone is hurting you—at school, online, or anywhere—you don’t have to protect them. You need to protect you. And I will help you do that.”
- “Even if you don’t feel like it now, you matter more than you know. Your life matters. Your story is not over. In fact it is just beginning.”
- “Things get better. You need to be here to see it.”
What Not to Say
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“You’re being dramatic.”
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“Just ignore it. It will go away.”
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“You don’t really feel that way.”
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“You’re too young to be depressed.”
Our children are living in a world that often overwhelms even adults. What they need is not our dismissal—they need our presence, our honesty, and our ability to listen without judgment. We can also be blunt and tell our children that we do not have all the answers, but together we will solve this problem.
I wish we didn’t have to talk about this. I wish we could stay in the land of bedtime stories and childhood dreams. But the truth is, hope is not just a feeling—it’s a skill we must teach. And sometimes that skill starts with saying the hard things out loud. Sometimes it starts with turning on one light at a time. Our children just don’t have the words to tell us how deep their pain is. There is no way we can expect them to understand something we cannot even understand. Don’t fear not knowing. Fear not speaking.
To Silas’s family, we send our deepest love. And to every child who is suffering quietly, we say: You are seen. You are needed. You are not alone. Find the light that will help you. Find the light that will help you. They are there. They exist. I promise.
Please share this message with someone who needs it. Feel free to forward this email to the families you know whether you think they need it or not because we rarely know the struggles that live inside another home, let alone another mind. And if you’re a parent, guardian, or teacher—please, start the conversation today.
You will find even more resources here. If you would like to support Silas’s family you may do so here.
With love and hope that we will rise together as the village we were meant to be,
Deedee
Founder, Make A Way Media